The Initiated Man

More recently I’ve really started to reflect on how much the western culture is lacking initiation ceremonies for young men. I had the honor of weaving my way across Kenya, living amongst some of the oldest tribes in the world, and one of the common threads was they all highly values rights of passage ceremonies throughout there entire lives. Boys around the age of 15 go through pretty intense hardships to validate their transformation from boyhood to manhood. These ceremonies are profoundly impactful as when they are completed, there is a tremendous transformation in their character and often translates to more confidence, self-worth and a sense of personal power. Growing up in the western culture I realize I severely yearned for these types of initiation. I lacked the presence of elders and mentorship, so the media and consumerism filled these voids. My teenage and early adult were spent drinking profusely, fighting and sleeping with as many women as possible to proof myself as a man. Let’s just say this path proved to be quite futile in the long run. Only in my later years, starting in my early 30’s did I start to go through what could be viewed as rights of passage ceremonies. I completed multiple 10 day Vipassana retreats where you sit in silence and meditate all day. I remember when they said you don’t get breakfast I nearly cried bloody murder. The insanity! O the drama. I survived and then went on to complete multiple 10 day master cleanse protocols, a 40 day juice fast and many other fasting protocols. I travelled to the jungle and lived amongst the Shipibo tribe working extensively with the plant medicine Ahuaska. I’ve spent months in deep solitude in the woods in a log cabin with no electricity, working with pscyhedelic mushrooms which greatly supported me in distorting my pre-conditioned mind to view my life from an altered perspective and re-wire limiting childhood stories of victimization into one of deep compassion, gratitude and abundance for my upbringing. One of my biggest obstacles has been the aversion of feelings. I did feel safe expressing my emotions as a child, and I recognize only in my later years how sensitive of a man I am, and can only imagine that was amplified in my childhood. I’ve done so many different types of initiation ceremonies which has molded me into the man I am today and I am damn proud of that man as I have been severely battle tested. Much more then need be. I recognize I could have averted years of mental anguish, depression and alcoholism if I had been introduced to these rights of passage ceremonies at a much younger age. What I feel has been lacking in my ceremonies is the presence of family/community/tribe upon completion. In Kenya, the Andes and North American indigenious groups when ceremony is completed, your tribe is there praying, or holding a sacred fire to support your spirit in completing the process. Upon completion you are celebrated and witnessed for the transition you have went through and are treated as such. I believe these ceremonies are not only for the child or person involved, but as well as the parent/community who know energetically receive the boy as a man, knowing part of their role as a parent is complete and can now view them through a new lens, perhaps even as more of a peer. I see parents today struggling with letting go of children as kids and continue to baby them through out their entire lives, which is very disempowering for both parties. The impact of these ceremonies are profound, as I can testify the benefits are vast and include a much greater sense of personal power, compassion and self-love. A deep awareness their is a sacred power that we can tap into that is with us at all times. Why do I share this article? I have been really weighing in on the foundation for the men’s work I have been doing and intend on hosting right of passage ceremonies like vision quests for men to go through on there journey back home to the heart. More then ever we need men in this world to know there worth, to stand Bold in their truths, yet remain centered in their hearts, all the while acknowledging we are all united as one.

Asante Sana

(Thank you in swahili)

RAWA