Benefits of Men’s groups

I got involved in men’s work years back and the impact has been deeply profound. It is my intention to highlight the key areas of growth that have enriched my life since stepping into this work. During a warrior initiation weekend through an organization called the ManKindProject(MKP) I uncovered one of my deepest shadows(repressed, hidden aspects of our identity) when upon being guided to some core wounds with my father, the facilitator said “I bet you play small in front of men you admire the most!” This hit me hard. My walls were pretty solid and I didn’t “break” during my carpet work, but this got me on a journey of self-empowerment in relation to men and the masculine principles. I grew up petrified of my father, and only came to understand his struggles by having the courage to share with him my battles with depression and the craziest thing happened, I gave him the permission to be vulnerable and share authentically his life long struggles with depression. Unbelievable transformative moment in my life. The impact of having an emotionally unavailable father played out in that I often overly compensated for low self-esteem by trying so hard to impress men or by completely averting dialogue around men I greatly admired. I couldn’t allow role models, or elders into my life and took lives lessons on the chin with no guidance. I also had no real understanding of my worth. Sitting amongst men I have such reverence for has greatly re-wired this program. Knowing I am not alone in my challenges has greatly supported in taking me out of deep isolation. By creating containers for myself and men’s deepest repressed feelings to be witnessed I have gained the confidence to ASK for support in the areas of my life that need attention and has shown me I do not have to do this all alone. I humbly admit I still work through this on day to day basis but it is getting much better. The old warrior going at it alone is breaking down. My previous being felt totally dependent on women for emotional validation. Going to men was foreign to me and I often placed too much burden on partnerships and felt this unhealthy co-dependency dynamic play out which eventually lead me to exiting. The benefits men’s work does greatly enhances the quality of relationships with their partners, friends, family and work life. By receiving unfiltered feed back, being lovingly challenged, held in my most vulnerable states and having accountability to living to my highest potential I have felt the transformation of feeling isolated to supported deeply. I believe men need men to challenge each other, to banter each other and grow together. The alignment with carrying out my dreams, my projects has been amplified by being witnessed and held accountable by brothers while making prayers during our sacred fires. By calling each other out on our “shit” and creating modalities to get to the root of our blockages, we lift and empower each other to be men of integrity, to be men who serve there communities, family, society and most importantly there relationship to creator and deep alignment with there purpose in this life time. I’ve learnt that I am enough as I am, I do have the tools to be authentically expressed, to hold healthy space for other men going through their journey’s and also healthy boundaries of not taking on people’s burdens, as the hero complex has been something I have deeply been transforming. I am not responsible for other people’s well being. I can hold loving space, create containers for transformation, support the deep shadow work, but it is up to the participants to do the work. My integrity to my word has greatly enhanced as I see this as the foundation of men’s work. My practical life skills have improved in areas of eco building, foraging, body work and so many other areas due to the skill share portions of our training. It’s truly been a beautiful transformation from previously showing love to my brothers by getting hammered and fighting each other to the near death to feeling comfortable looking a man in his eyes and sharing love in so many deeply intimate ways, all the while knowing I have peaceful warriors surrounding me who got my back as deeply as I got theirs. I do this work cause I am a stand to life in a world where men are free to be there authentically expressed true self and connected to their hearts in order to truly serve humanity at their highest capacity.